Mr Brightside
by bleedingdaylight
Summary: It kills Puck inside to see his best friend with the guy that broke her. He needs to tell her how he feels before it's too late. Too late to save himself from drowning in angsty and depression. Oneshot. Puckleberry, mentions of Finchel. WARNING: cutting


**Title: Mr. Brightside**

**Author: SmilesforCrayonsxx**

**Category: TV Shows - Glee**

**Rating: T**

**Genre: Romance / Angst**

**Pairing: Puck / Rachel mentions of Finn / Rachel**

**Word Count: 3,178**

**Summary: It kills Puck inside to see his best friend with the guy that broke her. He needs to tell her how he feels before it's too late. Too late to save himself from drowning in angsty and depression. Oneshot. Puckleberry, some Finchel. Warning: Mentions of cutting.**

* * *

><p>Noah Puckerman looked across the William McKinely High School choir room and saw a sight that he hated. Finn Hudson and Rachel Berry holding hands and talking intimately. He quickly looked away, sick to his stomach. It truely hated Finn when it came to Rachel. He's such a douche and Puck couldn't believe that Rachel actually takes interest in a guy like <em>Finn.<em>

Puck knew that he should be supportive of his best friend but he just _knew_ that the realtionship wasn't going to end well. Either Finn was going to go running back to Quinn or Santana or Finn will tell Rachel something bad about herself and someone else may get involved. That someone was Puck, of course.

Puck looked down at his scarred wrists. Remembering the blood dripping onto the shower floor, washing down the drain being carried by the freezing water. The blood stained knife that he was clutching for dear life. How he felt after he did continued to saw at his skin, leaving marks there forever to show the pain he went through. Just for one girl.

No one seemed to notice Puck's depression, though he stopped hitting on girls and became distant from his friends, espeically Rachel. He wanted nothing to do with Rachel when she was around _him_. The boy that seemed to be every girl's dream. _Rachel's_ dream. He sighed and pulled the sleeves on his sweatshirt further down his arms, covering the scars.

No one seemed to understand. When his mother got worried, Ms. Pillsbury told her it's a stage called "teenage angsty". Like Ms. Pillsbury knows what she's talking about. She's so screwed-up, so can't even handle her case of OCD. Puck's mother asked him if he wanted to go to counseling and Puck flipped out on her, scaring his mother and sister so badly, they didn't talk or look to him for a couple of days. They were even scared to walk past him.

Puck so busy drowning in his own thoughts that he didn't notice one Miss Rachel Berry standing in front of him with a huge smile plastered on her face. "Hey Noah!" she said happily. Puck snapped out of his thoughts when he heard her voice. He nodded at her and continued to think, ignoring her presence once again.

She frowned. "Noah, are you alright? You look kind of pale," Rachel said, concerned. Puck glared at Rachel. "I'm fine," he snapped harshly. Rachel stepped back in fear, tears threatening to fall. Then Puck realized that he snapped at his best friend. "I'm so sorry, Rach. I didn't mean to make you upset," he apologized, going to touch her shoulder.

Rachel smiled at him. "It's quite alright, I'm sorry for bothering you," she said softly. Puck's eyes bulged out of his head. "Did I ever say you were bothering me?" he asked her, a small smile that caused Puck a whole lot of pain in the back of his mind, showed up on his face. "No, it's just that, well, uh, when Finn snaps at me he makes me apologize for talking so much and bothering him," Rachel explained as if it was no big deal.

Puck must've let his emotions get the best of him because the next thing he knew he was punching Finn in the face so hard that blood was starting to flow from the lanky teenager's nose. "Noah! Stop it!" Rachel yelled, making some of the students wince and glare at the petite brunette. But Puck didn't listen to her pleads. Sam and Mike had to physically remove Puck off of Finn, before he beat the kid to death.

"Puck! What the hell was that?" Sam yelled at the mohawked Jew. Puck glared at the big-lipped jock and then he fled the room, leaving behind a very shocked choir room. Rachel was touched by Puck's actions, as well as mad but was scared of the consequences, though he didn't really seem to care. What Rachel didn't notice was the knife scars that laid on his wrists.

* * *

><p>He ran. Puck ran as fast as he could. It was the only thing he knew to do after his father would beat him. He'd run away and pray that one day he'd be safe to walk into his own home. Safe from the fear that his druken, angry father caused him as a young child.<p>

But this time it was different. This time Puck was the one who had given the beating. The one who had inflicted the pain. The one who would most likely be expelled and might go to jail. But he wouldn't know for sure until he went back. And he wasn't even sure if he _was_ going back.

He hated to make Rachel, his mother and his younger sister upset and afraid but he _couldn't_. Puck couldn't live the lie he had been living since _he_ took Rachel back.

Puck checked his non-stopped buzzing phone. _13 missed calls and 8 new text messages._ Six missed calls from Ma, five missed calls from Rachel and one missed call from Sam. Rachel's messages were of worry and then Mike and Sam's were saying that they were waiting for explanations. Puck couldn't take it anymore so he just shut his phone off.

The sun was started to set, which meant it would be getting dark soon. Puck stopped to take a breath of a bus stop bench. _What the fuck is wrong with me?_ Puck asked himself. "Well, first off, you beat up Finn with an explanation, second, you ran off and lastly, you won't return my calls or texts," he heard a familiar voice say from behind him. "Thanks for that Rachel," Puck said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "You are _very _welcome," Rachel said, winking.

"Why are you even here?" Puck asked, turning around to face her. A hurt expression overcame Rachel's face. "You've been acting..." Rachel trailed off, trying to find the right word. "Stupid, selfish, fucked up? Oh, I know," Puck finished for her, turning away from her. "But why?" Rachel asked, concern shown on her face. Puck stayed silent, staring at the scars on his wrists.

"Noah..." Rachel said quietly. "Talk to me," she begged, her expression seemed torturous. "I-I...I just can't," Puck blurted then started running. "Noah!" Rachel called, hoping that her best friend would come back. Puck stopped in his tracks. He was hurting Rachel. Again. He hated himself for it so he walked back to the petite brunette.

"I'm sorry, but I just _can't_!" Puck laughed bitterly, vemon dripping from his laugh. "I'm in love with you, _okay_? It fucking _kills me_ to see you with Finn. I'm done! I can't do it anymore," Puck told her, his voice low. Rachel stared into his eyes. "What can't you do anymore?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper. "Pretend," he said.

Rachel continued to stare at him, not saying anything. Puck laughed bitterly again and started to walk away. "Noah," Rachel finally got out. Puck turned back to her, the heartbreak was visible on his face. "I hope you don't get your heart broken like me," he told the girl and he vanished. Rachel let out a sob. "What did I just do?" she asked the sky. Funny thing was, Puck was asking himself that question as well.

* * *

><p>Puck didn't go home that night. He just walked the streets of Lima and then crossed into Lima Heights. Not many people were out at this time of night, mostly because it was a weekday, which meant school and work was tomorrow. Puck sawed at his skin with his pocket knife, walking the blood pooled down his arm and onto the concrete.<p>

Puck passed alleyways where people were talking, smoking and probably doing drugs. He didn't stop at them, he didn't want to see anyone right now. The sun started to rise when Puck made his way back to Lima and out of Lima Heights. He texted his mother, saying that he was fine because he knew she would call the police sooner or later.

He really didn't want to go to school and see _her _or _him_. And yes, he does realize it's immature not to use _their_ names but the heartbreak is unbearable. _Like it isn't already,_ he told himself. He mentally rolled his eyes and then continued his very long walk.

Puck decided to stop at a small cafe that he knew of on a small side street in Lima. He ordered a large black coffee, as if it would drown him, which Puck wished it would.

As the caffine entered his blood, Puck had a sudden flash of adrenaline. He decided to go back to school for Glee, not really thinking about _him_ or _her_. It was better that way. He ran the half mile to the school building, where students were leaving or talking idly in the hallways. Some running because they were late for their after school club.

Puck waltzed into the choir room, not even making up an excuse. He got a glimpse of Finn's face, which was bruised very badly and his lip was busted. _No kissy face with _her_ for a while,_ Puck thought to himself and mentally smirked. If only he was thinking straight, he would see how unstable he really was. Unfortunately, the cloud of adrenaline was making it hard for him to think straight.

Mr. Schue was talking about getting ready for Sectionals or some shit like that. Puck knew what was going to go down. Rachel would blab that she and Finn should have a duet for Sectionals, something probably really girly and romantic shit. When Mr. Schue stopped talking Puck raised his hand and said he had a song. Mr. Schue nodded and Puck stood in front of everyone and put on a crazed smirk.

_I'm coming out of my cage_

_And I've been doing just fine_

_Gotta gotta be down_

_Because I want it all_

_It started out with a kiss_

_How did it end up like this?_

_It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss_

_Now I'm falling asleep  
><em>  
><em>And she's calling a cab<br>_  
><em>While he's having a smoke<br>_  
><em>And she's taking a drag<br>_  
><em>Now they're going to bed<br>_  
><em>And my stomach is sick<br>_  
><em>And it's all in my head<br>_  
><em>But she's touching his chest<br>_  
><em>Now, he takes off her dress<br>_  
><em>Now, letting me go<em>

_And I just can't look - it's killing me  
><em>  
><em>And taking control<br>_  
><em>Jealousy, turning saints into the sea<br>_  
><em>swimming through sick lullabies<br>_  
><em>Choking on your alibis<br>_  
><em>But it's just the price I pay<br>_  
><em>Destiny is calling me<br>_  
><em>Open up my eager eyes<br>_  
><em>'Cause I'm Mr Brightside<em>

_I'm coming out of my cage  
><em>  
><em>And I've been doing just fine<br>_  
><em>Gotta gotta be down<br>_  
><em>Because I want it all<br>_  
><em>It started out with a kiss<br>_  
><em>How did it end up like this?<br>_  
><em>It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss<br>_  
><em>Now I'm falling asleep<br>_  
><em>And she's calling a cab<br>_  
><em>While he's having a smoke<br>_  
><em>And she's taking a drag<br>_  
><em>Now they're going to bed<br>_  
><em>And my stomach is sick<br>_  
><em>And it's all in my head<br>_  
><em>But she's touching his chest<br>_  
><em>Now, he takes off her dress<em>  
><em>Now, letting me go<br>_

_'Cause I just can't look - it's killing me  
><em>  
><em>And taking control<br>_  
><em>Jealousy, turning saints into the sea<br>_  
><em>Turning through sick lullabies<br>_  
><em>Choking on your alibis<br>_  
><em>But it's just the price I pay<br>_  
><em>Destiny is calling me<br>_  
><em>Open up my eager eyes<br>_  
><em>'Cause I'm Mr Brightside<em>

_I never...  
><em>  
><em>I never...<br>_  
><em>I never...<br>_  
><em>I never...<em>

The tension in the air was so thick that it was almost suffocating. Puck was staring intensely at Rachel and Finn. His adrenaline wasn't wearing off, singing that song actually made it stronger. "Um, very nice Puck..." Mr. Schue said a bit speechless. Puck nodded and walked back to his seat in the top row. No one speaked nor moved.

Rachel looked a bit devastated, confusing the Glee club. Finn looked confused, as usual. Mercedes and Kurt were craving the details on the 'Puckleberry destruction' as they like to call it. Everyone else was slightly confused or a little disturbed. "Uh, let's move on..." Mr. Schue said awkwardly, trying to ease the intensity that Puck had just caused.

"Mr. Schuester, I think it would be a good idea to end the meeting here," Rachel suggested quietly. Mr. Schue nodded in agreement and fled the room, not saying anymore. Everyone else gave Rachel and Puck strange looks and then left after that. The room was now down to Mercedes, Kurt, Finn, Rachel and Puck. "Finn, I'll be out in a minute, okay?" Rachel said sweetly that made Puck sick to his stomach. Finn nodded and waltzed out of the room.

Puck glared at Kurt and Mercedes, making them flee as well. Puck closed the choir room door and looked back at Rachel. Rachel stared at the mohawked boy intensely and then snapped, "What the hell was _that_, Puckerman?" Puck glared at her. "It's called _singing a song,_" Puck retorted. Rachel's stare got more intense. "I know _that_. And I know how mad it made me! Why _that _song is what I'm asking!" Rachel yelled. Puck took a step closer to her. "Did you ever stop and think about anyone but yourself?" Puck asked sarcastically, vemon dripping from his voice.

Rachel flinched at that. "Did you ever stop to think how you made me feel yesterday?" Rachel snapped back. Puck growled. "Numerous times, thank you for asking," he said, his voice low. "Wow, _now_ you decide that you want being considerate," Rachel muttered, still glowering at Puck. Puck just shook his head and laughed humorlessly. "I don't need this," he said, walking back towards the door.

"Did you ever stop and think that you never let me answer you last night?" Rachel asked, making Puck stop in his tracks. He didn't turn back to face her but laughed another bitter laugh, similar to the one from last night. "I wanted to save myself the heartbreak," he said bitterly, but truthful. Rachel took a deep breath. "So you didn't even _consider_ the fact that I love you back?" Rachel asked. That made Puck turn around. "Like I said before, I'd like to save myself from the heartbreak," Puck said, a bit annoyed.

"But you aren't thinking the truth then," Rachel said quietly. Puck looked at Rachel. "What did you just say?" he asked, narrowing his eyes. "You heard me," Rachel retorted. "I want to hear it again," Puck said simply, taking a step closer towards Rachel. "I said, 'but you aren't thinking the truth then'," Rachel said clearly this time.

Puck dropped his eyes to the floor. "What about Hudson?" Puck asked quietly. Rachel rolled her eyes. "I never really loved that idiot. I was just trying to distract myself from my feelings for you," Rachel said. Puck's hazel eyes met Rachel's chocolate ones and a smirk appeared on his face. Rachel step closer to Puck, now they were only about a foot apart.

Puck couldn't take it anymore and he closed the gap, his lips colliding with Rachel's soft ones. The kiss was tender but filled with lust at the same time. Puck deepened the kiss and shoved his tongue into Rachel's mouth, causing her to moan in pleasure. After a few minutes of tongue hockey, Puck pulled his lips slowly and gentely off of Rachel's.

"You've gotten better," Puck commented. Rachel just smirked. "I think I need a little more practice," she said, pressing her lips once again onto Puck's.

And from then on, Puck had forgotten about the everlasting scars on his wrists because of Rachel Berry.

* * *

><p><strong>Song Credit: Mr. Brightside - The Killers<strong>

**:) A short little oneshot to warm [and frighten] the soul. Sorry if my angsty was bad, this was my first time doing that sort of thing so it might not have been the best you've read.**

**Stay strong,**

**Crayonsxx**


End file.
